Pray for the Living

“Pray for the living.” Those are the words I heard as I sat with the realization that my friend had been given a few weeks to live. A woman who has lived a remarkable life. A life that has impacted her husband, her kids, her friends, her church, even strangers. She has lived and loved fully. 

She sent a video to a group of us to let us know that she and her husband and her doctors had agreed to discontinue treatment. Which meant her days were numbered. And the sadness was and is so great. Yet…I heard these words from God. To pray. To pray for her and her family. To pray for the living. Which, surprisingly, in that moment, gave me such hope. Which is contrary to what I once experienced in a similar circumstance.

Almost 20 years ago my best friend was diagnosed with cancer. From the moment those words were spoken to her we prayed for her healing. And we kept praying. Even as we watched her shrink right before our eyes. Our focus was constantly on her healing all the way up to the moment of her death. And not once during all that time did I feel hope. Because, as I look back now, I realize that I was praying for the dying, not the living. Which meant I missed praying for, not only, her family but for Donna while she still lived.

5 years ago Eva fell off a golf cart and suffered a life changing TBI. That first year we prayed for her healing. The 2nd year we prayed for her healing. We begged for God to move. But He had and continues to have other ideas. And once accepting God’s decision, my prayers began to change. I guess you could say, I began to pray for the living.

I pray for Eva daily, but I put my focus, as I think about it now, on her life as it currently is, not the life that I desperately want her to have. I pray for her breathing. I pray for comfort when she’s not feeling well. I pray for smiles. And each day there can be found an abundance of hope. Not for what I want but for what is.

And I pray for Dugan, Lindsay and Phoenix. That God would continue to give them supernatural energy and wisdom. That God would protect their hearts, their marriage, their family, their present and their future. And I find hope when I pray this.

I think all too often I associate hope with answered prayer. But that’s not where hope lives. Hope lives in the moment and in the pain. And in the prayers. Prayers not holding out for what I want. Prayers for what is. 

So today I pray for my friend and her family. I pray that they will experience more moments to fill their already overflowing satchel of memories. That they would find joy and meaning in the days ahead. And I pray for her family as they continue on. As we all continue on. As we care for each other. Pray for each other. Pray for the living.