The Other Side

When people ask, “Why do we write morning pages?” I joke, “To get to the other side.” They think I’m kidding, but I’m not. Morning pages do get us to the other side: the other side of our fear, of our negativity, of our moods. Above all, they get us beyond our Censor. Beyond the reach of the Censor’s babble we find our own quiet center, the place where we hear the still, small voice that is at once our creator’s and our own.” The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron

I’ve been hovering over the word “lament” for the past several days. It’s a word that I am unfamiliar with outside of, well, the book of Lamentations, a book of the Bible that I seldom read. A book filled with suffering. As I’ve thought about it, I’ve realized that I’ve never been a lament-kind of person, but I’m wondering if I shouldn’t be or work to be. When I’m suffering.

This week as I led a group in week 3 of Divorce Care, the subject was anger. The acknowledgement of anger as well as the appropriate ways to express it, handle it, and manage it. Not only our anger at our former spouse but our anger at God. An anger - well both - that I’m very familiar with. But it’s the anger at God that got my attention. Anger during suffering.

Here’s what I’ve realized. When I am angry at God, I complain about him; not often to others but definitely to myself. And then I walk away from God and return only when I feel better and can approach him with a little faith. But in the video this week on anger, they suggested that instead of complaining about God, complain TO God. To Lament. A prayer in which you tell God everything you’re feeling about him, holding nothing back. Not only is this a more honest way to approach your relationship with God, it often gets you to the other side, as Julia Cameron wrote in her book for artists. Get it all out there; say whatever comes to your mind. As an artist you will eventually find your creativity; as a follower of Christ you will find your faith and love for God.

David, in the book of Psalms uses the word “but” approximately 130 times. David was a prolific Lamenter. He wrote over 60 Psalms of lament.

How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? (Psalm 13)

I am ignored as if I were dead. (Psalm 31)

I think of God, and I moan, overwhelmed with longing for his help. (Ps 77)

Just to name a few. These Psalms are filled with anger and frustration and hurt towards God. But…what a great word, “but,” he always finished his Psalm on the other side. The other side of his suffering. The other side of his anger. 

But I trust in your unfailing love.

But I am trusting you, O Lord, saying, “You are my God!”

But then I recall all you have done, O Lord; I remember your wonderful deeds of long ago.

I’m not in a hurry to experience another bout of suffering, but when the time comes, I want to try my hand at lamenting. I want to try and stay put, look God directly in the face and say to Him all that I’m feeling and experiencing. Because I’m thinking that when I do this - as many times as it takes - I will eventually find myself on the other side. The other side of my anger, the other side of my suffering, the other side of my lament.