Intentional Joy

Nurse #1: Well, once we get you all settled, we’ll give you a little sedation.

Me: I don’t think I want to be sedated.

Nurse #1: Are you sure?

Me: Yep.

Nurse #1: Well, if you change, you just let us know.

Me: Okay.

Me: What’s this port for in my arm?

Nurse #2: It’s an easy way to add the sedation.

Me: I don’t want to be sedated.

Nurse #2: Are you sure?

Me: Yep.

Nurse #2: Well, if you change your mind, just let us know.

Me: Okay.

This exact same conversation took place at least 4 more times, if not 6 when you add the doctors. The last nurse who asked doubled checked my blood pressure to be sure I was doing okay. Which I was!!! And I continued to be throughout the whole procedure. And, not only was I okay, I had a blast. It was a crazy experience. For me and, apparently, for the gang in the OR. They were finding themselves having fun because I was having fun.

And what was happening in that OR, you ask? I was getting my first cataracts removed. Now, I didn’t do drugs in the 70s, but if I had, I’m sure it looked a lot like this. Lots of swirly colors and odd shaped things moving about. I was a talking commentary throughout the whole procedure. And by the time we were done, the doctors thanked ME. They couldn’t remember having had a better time. At my follow up the next day, the doc said I had a huge fan club and they were all making sure they were signed up for my return for eye #2 in two weeks. 

As I drove home, I realized that doctors and nurses spend their hours, days, weeks and years caring and doing their best to bring healing to everyone who walks in their doors. I go there to “get” and have never thought about what I can give. Not just in return, but just to give.

Yes, I go with an attitude of gratefulness that they’re there for me. And I practice kindness. But I never thought about bringing joy. Which, at times, is hard because of the discomfort or pain I may be in. But, giving joy, to some degree, is a great gift that I became aware of this week.

I didn’t go in that room to do anything more than just to experience this cataract removal. I had no idea what I was in store for. I just knew, if they let me, I wanted to be fully aware. And the moment it started, a smile and squeals of glee took over. Which then, somehow, transferred to everybody in the room. Without intention, I somehow brought joy to their day. 

Which got me thinking. What would it be like if I intentionally brought joy? 

Which then reminded me of a time when I was invited to my former niece’s birthday party. The divorce was recent so heading to my former husband’s family party…well, needless to say, I was very nervous. As I was driving in, I decided that I needed to take a different approach in order to be able to breathe. I did not want to go in all scared. So, I asked God to help me be a blessing. If I could concentrate on that then maybe I’d be okay. Well, I was more than okay. I had a great time. Because the focus was off of me and fully on them. I spent conversations and even quiet times blessing them. And I left with a full heart.

So as I think about my return to the OR, I’m already working on what I can do to make my 2nd visit more fun, more intentional. Such as finding some very funny pirate jokes. I mean, I leave there with a domed eye patch - which, I gotta tell ya, was a little disappointing. I really wanted the black patch. But I’ve got two weeks to pull together some fun and some joy to bring to these very hard working people.

But I don't want to stop there. I want to be conscious in my everyday life. To live in awareness of those around me, especially those who serve me. Whether in a store or the drive-up at Target or at a doctors office. With friends and family…and even strangers. To live and bring joy. Just to give it. To somehow, someway walk away leaving a smattering of intentional joy in my wake.