In Spite of Me

For years a few of my family, friends and I have made fun of this song. As I think about it now, I’m not quite sure exactly why, except to say it has a redundancy about it. The same phrase is said over and over again. However, this year I heard it sung by Pentatonix and for the first time, I actually listened to all the lyrics. And it was quite moving. “Mary, did you know that your baby boy would one day walk on water… would save our sons and daughters…the child that you delivered would soon deliver you… and is the great I Am?”

And, no, I don’t think she knew. How could she? Yes, she was visited by an angel and, yes, she was told by said angel that the child she would bear would be the son of God. But remember…she was a middle schooler!!

I know that there are some people who idolize Mary, give her her own stained-glass window. But, I’m in a completely different camp. She wasn’t God; she was human. She was told that her child would take away the sins of the world, but what did that even mean? And what kind of cost would be required? Her imagination would have never come up with the truth of what eventually took place. I don’t care how good and God-loving this girl was, there is no way she would have understood hers and His future. Which makes, in my mind, Jesus even more of a miracle, that he was sinless in spite of his fully human mom.

Because, just like me, Mary was an imperfect parent. I started out committing to love my kids better than I was loved. And yet, I screwed up. So many times. With my parenting choices, with poor decisions, with generational learned behavior, with self-centeredness. You name it and I failed more times than I have the courage to count. 

When I think of Mary’s life, I wonder if some of our experiences aren’t a bit similar. For example, raising more than one kid and making sure that everyone feels equally loved and cared for. Imagine how challenging it would have been for Mary not to favor Jesus. He was perfect; his siblings were not. Huge understatement! Guess how they looked at him and his mother’s (in their mind) favorite child? I don’t believe, for a moment, that she had a favorite but, different personalities and different relationships can lead to that thinking. 

Then there’s Joseph’s death. The only other person in Mary’s life to share this enormous secret -  the angel visits, the holiness of Jesus’ birth, the future of their son. But Joseph dies. If she was anything like me, when I was going through divorce after 25 years of marriage, her parenting may have been placed on hold as she worked through her pain and grief. 

I like that Mary was not someone super special because it makes God’s work in my kids’ lives an even greater miracle. If God can use a middle schooler and overcome her youth and inexperience and sinful nature to bring forth a sinless honest-to-goodness Son of God, then I'm living an equally, undeserved blessed life.

“Sharon, did you know that your son would grow up to teach the word of God?"

"Sharon, did you know that when your daughter sings angels stand in awe?” 

Just like Mary, no, I didn’t know. But God did and He has done a crazy miraculous work in our kids. In spite of us. In spite of me.