Have Courage and Be Kind

Five years ago as I was approaching my 65th birthday, I wanted to do something big, something to mark the moment. So I decided that I was going to face one of my biggest fears. Heights. So what did I do? I went parachuting. And it was, without a doubt, the most frightening thing I had ever done. My friends and family on the ground weren’t sure if I was going to actually jump (with my parachute buddy, Russ) because the plane kept going and going and no Sharon. I stood at the entrance door for miles. I looked at Russ, at one point, and asked the stupid question, “You won’t let go of me, right?” He kept saying, “I got you. I got you.” Once I jumped, it took me a while to open my eyes but when I did, it was, as you can imagine, breathtaking. But then we landed and I sat on the ground and cried. For 20 minutes. But I did it. And it changed me. Showed me that I could do more and be more than I ever thought I could. I was, in that moment when I jumped, the most courageous I had ever been.

Courage. It’s a word that always evokes awe and inspiration. And it requires, for most of us, a bit of wrestling. To face or do something that goes against our natural or environmentally induced way of life.

A pastor that I know showed great courage a few years back, standing before his church to confess that over the past year he had been abusing alcohol. He was stepping down and getting the help he needed. I was in awe.

Another pastor friend faces fear every time he gets up to teach. He’s gifted, he’s called by God and yet it takes every bit of courage for him to step out on the stage every week. He is inspiring.

A seven year old boy, named Phoenix Brave, Eva’s little brother, has been living a life of courage for the past 4 years. A life that, at times, has split his family, as his mom and dad take turns being at home or at the hospital. And maybe the scariest and bravest of moments is when he sees his sister being taken away by ambulance. He’s never quite sure what each day will bring and yet he gets us with a sense of anticipation and faces each day with joy and kindness.

It makes me think of the live-action movie, Cinderella. “Have courage and be kind.” Those two words really are connected because when you find courage to do the impossible, to take a risk, to become more than who you thought you were, something changes inside of you. Something for good. You can’t come out the other side of courage without being a better version of yourself.

I’m being courageous these days in a very different way; I’m back to getting counseling. I say, courage, because I don’t really want to do it. In fact, at my first appointment, I stood outside the door and paced. Similar to how I looked at the door of the plane. I don’t want to face my weaknesses and change my thought patterns and behavior. It scares the bee jee bees out of me when I think about conversations and responses that are ahead for me. I’d much rather live in the shadow of weakness and wallow in my fear. But I know better. I know I can’t stay there. I truly want to rise above my slough, to honor God with my life. To love Him. To love others. To live a life of courage.

So, with fear and trembling and yes, a fair amount of tears, I’m committing to therapy. Because what I want more than my safe and comfortable life of dysfunction is to truly have courage and be kind.