“Rest requires trust. Just as they had to trust God to feed their bellies, they also had to trust God to feed their aching hearts. To fill them up and tell them they were loved for who they were, not just what they could do. Morning by morning they learned to trust God…and week by week, they set aside a whole day just for resting…Safe in the wilderness, reliant on God alone, they spent their days and weeks feeding and finding their trust.”
I have probably heard, in my lifetime, at least 50+ teachings on being in the wilderness. Because it’s the one thing all Christians have in common. Time in the wilderness. Time when you’re waiting on God to move. To take away the pain, bring healing, offer restoration, supply hope. Give answers.
And I’ve lived there plenty, myself. But the thing I’ve come to realize, as I look back and even into my current state of wilderness, is that my times in the wilderness have been and are passive. I have waited. Waited for God to move things around. Waited for God to do his work in me. Waited for God to explain himself. But something I read this week made me realize that my times in the desert, in the wilderness, have been driven by passiveness.
I’ve been reading a new book to Eva. It’s called The Book of Belonging. And it’s marvelous. It’s described as “an inclusive Bible Storybook for kind and contemplative kids.” And that description is absolutely right. Each time I read one of the stories to Eva, we talk about it. And then we process it. Because it’s written in a way that has causes me to think; this week to see the wilderness and God differently.
“They spent their days and weeks feeding and finding their trust.” “Feeding and finding” are active verbs. They weren’t sitting around, wringing their hands, waiting for God. No, they were in it and practicing daily to trust God. Which, of course, led me to think about my own wilderness experiences. How they have all been and continue to be passive.
The Israelites had absolutely no experience with God prior to this. He was brand new to them and so they had no choice but to practice a new way of living and believing. I’ve had God in my life for decades, a God who has blessed me, healed me, restored me more times than I can count, and yet, I go passive when I’m in a new wilderness.
My current wilderness involves a broken relationship. And I confess, right here and right now, my passivity. Waiting. Living in a state of loss but doing nothing about it. Yes, God has work to do in me to bring restoration, but why should he do all the work when I sit back like a spoiled teenager waiting for someone to bring me my pizza and Diet Coke. What can I do, while in this wilderness to practice feeding and trusting? That’s where I’ve been living this week. That’s what I’m asking God to show me. How to be active in the wilderness.
I want to be a part of the healing, the restoration. I want to partner with God, not put it all on him. So, I’m seeking Him today and days ahead with the promise in my hand that says, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” I’m so ready to get up off the Lazy-Boy and do some intentional feeding and finding.
“And slowly they released the way of Egypt. Safe in the wilderness, reliant on God alone, they spent their days and weeks feeding and finding trust. Those were the rhythms of remembering, the gift of a good God.”
Always enjoy your writing.