Dangling on the Vine

I homeschooled my kids and within that education we talked about God. As we studied ancient history, we compared that with the timeline of scripture. As we talked and prayed, we wrestled with questions and did our best to find answers. We were involved in a variety of ministries at church. So, it absolutely threw me when Dugan, as he entered his middle school years, began to question his faith. I looked at him dumbfounded wondering what in the world! Until I realized what was happening. Dugan was pulling away, tearing away from his parents' faith in order to establish his own. A natural and necessary process; one in which I came to understand and celebrate. Dugan had to detach himself from our branch on the vine of Christ in order to - eventually - connect his own branch to the vine.

This week I was listening to a teaching where Mary, the mother of Jesus, was mentioned. She was anywhere from 14 to 15 years old when betrothed to Joseph. The middle school years. I found myself wondering about the timing of Gabriel’s visit and the call for Mary to birth God’s son. I’m assuming she had already gone through the separation process. And if she was now personally attached, how long had she had her own faith before God approached her? Or might she have been dangling, not fully embedded yet? All of which got me thinking.

When I’m consciously and deliberately attached to the vine, God can ask me to do anything and I'm all in because I’m confident that all things are possible with God. When I’m attached loosely - due to my own doing, my own doubting, I’m not so confident. But it isn’t really about me. It wasn’t really about Mary. Which probably explains why there are not more details. Because it was about Jesus. It always was and always will be about Jesus. And his faith in us. In me. Whether I’m fully attached or holding on by my little finger. No matter my state, God has faith in me. As he had faith in Mary. 

I don’t know all that Mary went through. My imagination takes me through her life and if she’s anything like me, she had her fair time of dangling. Because her calling was, well, the grandest of them all. So whether when the angel showed up she was fully attached or dangling, it didn’t matter. Because when we are, when I am dangling, and God calls me, I stop at nothing to get to the vine. Clinging to it. Until I can breathe. Until I can trust. Until I can begin my obedience.

Jesus said, “Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.”

So I find myself encouraged today. That my own doubts and loose fingers will not influence God and his calling on my life. Whether I have a firm or lose hold, God will continue his work in and through me. Because he believes in me. He has faith in me. Even when I’m dangling.