Audacious Faith

The Sword and the Spirit

Prayer

Live a Praying Live

Power Healing

Praying God’s Word

Meditative Prayer

Praying the Word of God

God’s Prayer Book

Prayers that Avail Much

As I was dusting off the shelves and books in my glass enclosed antique cabinet, one thing became very clear. More than any other subject amongst my books, the one that stood out the most was the subject of prayer.

Years back I had an encounter with the Holy Spirit which resulted in an all consuming need and desire to understand and practice the power of prayer. It became my ultimate desire - to draw close and to draw near the throne of God. To speak with him and to hear him. And with each passing year I became more and more bold in my prayers. My faith seemed to have no limits. Nothing I wouldn’t pray and believe for. 

Until Eva’s accident.

From the moment that I got word that she had fallen, I ran and stayed at the feet of Jesus, praying that he would heal her. I didn’t bother listening for his voice; I just prayed, at times, demanded that she be healed. After weeks and months of prayer with no change in Eva, my voice became less strong, became more weak. Eventually just a whisper. No longer confident in my ability to pray and believe. So I set my faith down.

It got so bad that I couldn’t remain in a room with faith-filled people. I’d start to shake and become anxious. My breathing becoming erratic. Until I could get out of there.

I started to tone down my prayers, praying only when I could hear clearly how God wanted me to pray. I wouldn’t begin until I sensed his direction and then only speaking of what I knew and heard. My faith becoming dependent on what I was assured was God’s leading and adding nothing to it.

I’ve been so lost in the conundrum of prayer. Uncertain. Because there are prayers of faith but then there are prayers aligned with God’s heart. There’s the persistent widow and then there’s the verse that commands us to seek first the Kingdom of God. I’ve been unable to reconcile the two so I moved into the practice of safe prayers.

Until this week when I began a 40 day prayer journey with Mark Batterson’s book, “Draw the Circle.” It’s shaken me because he’s challenging me to return, somewhat, to those days of, as he calls it, “Shameless Audacity.” Praying impossible prayers. Prevailing prayers. Being willing to live a crazy faith.

So this week, I decided to try. I grabbed a notebook and made circles on pages. Giving a title to each circle, the name or names of people that I am praying for. And I’m beginning to fill those circles with, using a very hesitant hand, audacious prayers. 

In Eva’s circle I’m writing down “the impossible dream.” With a question mark. May I pray that you heal her brain, heal her lungs, give her breath and the ability to swallow? To sing again? Dance again? I think the answer is yes, but it scares the crap out of me. 

For a broken relationship, how bold do I become in jump-starting the healing?

With those who are lost, I have question marks as to what actions I take. What part does God want me to play in introducing them to the love of God?

For my church, which is bursting at the seams, I’ve written the word “radical plan” with a question mark next to it. I’m certain the plan is radical, but what part, if any, do I play in that?

It’s going to be quite a 40 days, but I think I’m ready. I think I’ve been healed enough, have courage enough to face and tear down the conundrum of prayer. And return to a place that I once thrived and hopefully will thrive again. Audacious faith.