Rekindling a Passion

After 25 years of attending a church, a church in which I was highly involved, God brought it to an end. First in ministry and then the church itself. An unsettled feeling had entered into my heart and I found myself wanting more. More of what, I had no idea. I just knew that my time at this church, a church that I had loved for so long, was done. And what came next was completely unexpected.

I found myself at a small charismatic church. Not sure how I got there, but once I walked through their doors, there was no turning back, both physically and spiritually. Because I discovered something both in Scripture and in experience. And that was the presence and power of the Holy Spirit. And when that happened, my life was forever changed. I became ravenous to know more. I read every book I could get my hands on and that included the Bible, buying notebook and after notebook, filling them with verses that, up to this point, I had paid little attention to. Verses about healing and angels and the prophetic, the miraculous, spiritual battles and speaking in tongues. You name it. Anything out of the ordinary business of life, I took note. And I wanted in on it.

During this time, there were several of my friends who, like me, found themselves equally hungry and eager for more of the Holy Spirit. So we met weekly and prayed together. We offered prayer for others; went to conferences where we could learn more, always asking a trusted charismatic friend to accompany us to answer questions as well as give caution. 

I experienced hearing God’s voice or, at least, recognizing it, for the very first time. On more than one occasion I was “slain in the spirit;” I received the gift of tongues, prayed with others for healing and later learned that they had, in fact, been healed. It was an extraordinary time. 

But it wasn’t until I began reading a book this week that I realized that I had become distant from the Holy Spirit. Oh I still hear his voice, I know He remains with me and leads me, but my hunger has ebbed and my desire for living and breathing and praying and seeking the Holy Spirit has waned. The book is entitled, “The Familiar Stranger,” by Tyler Staton. And, yes, it’s all about the Holy Spirit, the Holy Spirit that Jesus promised us when he headed north to be with His Father. A book that has awakened my own spirit to rediscover and reconnect with the Spirit of God. 

The Holy Spirit is more than a stranger, but I have lost much of what once was familiar and unexpected. Since starting this book, I have awakened the past several mornings with an eagerness to experience what the Holy Spirit has planned for me each day. I find myself looking around at work or at home or on my walks, listening, seeking, desiring to be a part of what He’s doing. 

I don’t know if I’ll ever have what I had once experienced those many years ago. And that’s okay. I just want to rekindle some of that passion that once took over my life so that, together, the Holy Spirit through me and in me can do a good work, pray as unceasingly as possible, speak into those who need a word from God and to live, really and truly live, in the unpredictable, indescribable life of the Holy Spirit.