More than I Deserve

As I have written in earlier Monday Thoughts, I am unapologetically a patriot. Which includes this time of year. When I get to vote. I know this thrill of voting for the leaders of my city, state and country comes from my dad - may his memory be a blessing. He reminded me on more than one occasion that this is what he fought for in WW2 - freedom. Including the freedom to vote. A vote that he never once, in his entire life, told anyone for whom he voted.

So, yes, this time of year gives me a little thrill. Except when it comes to all the negative ads. I know, by now, it’s all part of the package, but it doesn’t get any easier to watch or listen to. But this week I heard a word. A word that I have heard countless times, but this time, it caused me to pause. The word? “Deserve.” “Wisconsinites deserve.” “People deserve.” “Americans deserve.” We deserve everything from clean air and clean water to the ability to walk safely in our neighborhoods to our money kept in our own pockets and not the government’s pockets. On and on the "deserves" go.

I started thinking about that word “deserve.” It’s not a neutral word. It’s an inciting word. A word that implies that you have been robbed. Someway or somehow. “You deserve love” implies that you have never had it. “You deserve equal pay” indicates that you are getting paid less than others. “You didn’t deserve that,” pointing out that you were mistreated. You see, it’s not an encouraging word; it’s a provocative word.

I went so far this week as to think, “Do I deserve clean air and water?” I need it, but I’m not sure I’ve done anything specifically to deserve it. “Do I deserve safe neighborhoods?” I certainly desire it. But what have I done to deserve it? 

Deserve means earning. Well, outside of being born in the midwest, having lived in various cities around the United States, I’ve truly done nothing to deserve…well, anything. Yes, I work at my job so I deserve to get paid. But, it makes me itchy to use that particular word. I prefer to say I have earned it. Yes, I know that there are people who don’t get paid for the work that they do. They may, rightfully, “deserve” more. 

I just want to be careful in how I use the word “deserve.” I don’t want to use it to incite. I want to use it with honesty and with respect. And in my mind, there’s truly only one place that I have found “deserve” to be the most accurate. And it’s found in Psalm 103:10-12.

he does not treat us as our sins deserve

    or repay us according to our iniquities.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth,

    so great is his love for those who fear him;

as far as the east is from the west,

    so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

This “deserve” reaches deep into my heart and soul, invoking a feeling of thankfulness for God’s response to my sin. Because I am a sinner. From dawn to dusk I sin. And there is no question that I deserve death. Yet by his grace, God doesn’t give me what I deserve. Instead, He sent his only son to die on the cross for my sins, allowing me to live forgiven and forever in the Kingdom of Heaven. A free gift. A gift that makes no sense. A gift of breathtaking love and forgiveness. A gift that is, without a doubt, and the biggest understatement that I can ever make, so so much more than I deserve. And that’s a “deserve,” that will always get my vote.